Not Afraid to Say No

One of the things I’ve been struggling with in my professional career is being the “yes” girl when at times, I clearly should have said “no”. I am one of those people- pleasers, trying to satisfy every need if I could. I was politely told in one of my project meetings that sometimes being too agreeable can be seen as a negative instead of a positive. Many times I would take on too many projects because I was eager to show I can get them done, but wasn’t producing in a timely manner. Here are a few ways that this could have been avoided:

1. I could have just declined the assignment, explaining there were too many things already on my plate, OR
2. I could have accepted the assignment, but only doing so with a more realistic deadline.

The first step is realizing that this is an issue in the first place. We must all learn what our strengths and weaknesses are. Just as in my professional life, I was in my personal life. There were many relationships that I should have said “no” to, but didn’t. Looking back on those, I now realize what a waste of time it was. Many times I would say “yes” to a guy who wanted to date me, but I honestly had no real interest or knew that it wasn’t going to last long….so why did I agree?? Sometimes I didn’t want to hurt his feelings because he was a pretty nice guy. Yes, silly me. Other times I just said “yes” because I was bored and didn’t want to be alone at the moment. And even worse, I would continue to say “yes” because the situation was comfortable and I didn’t want to mess up good connections or benefits. It’s the truth! But what I encourage you as young women and men, is to say “no” when you know you should. Don’t say “yes” because it’s good for someone else. Don’t get yourself caught up in a relationship that isn’t meant to be because you’re tired of waiting….just be patient. Don’t say “yes” out of fear.

Not Yours, Not Mine, But God's

I can try to be who others want me to be, but I will never be good enough. I can try to be who I want me to be, but I would still come up short. Only when I become who God wants me to be, then will I be my best.

Learning to surrender to God's will for your life takes maturity. It may take years for some to actually get there and come to the realization that they can't just do whatever they want. Don't worry, it took me a while too. And I although I know, I don't always DO what I know I should. Why is that? A question left unanswered at the moment. When flesh gets in the way it causes us to sin. We, as people, love to do what WE want to do. In order for us to start doing what God wants us to do, we must first live by the priniples of conscious Christian living, which is prayer and Bible study. If you're doing these two things on a daily basis, you're well on your way to becoming who God wants you to be!

Who Does He Think He Is?

It started out with a few cheap dates. Long walks and summer concerts in the park, but it was all still great. One night he even cooked for me. We sipped on fine French wine. Next came the kiss and I knew this man was mine. Final Destination three was the movie of choice. Now on to the couch we went. As soon as he came close to me, there I heard that tiny little voice. The one that reminded me of how he never really spent any money on me. The one that reminded me of how he rarely texts or calls. The one that reminded me that he dressed way too nice and almost looked better than me (and I can’t have a man that outdoes me lol). After all the kissin’ and huggin’, I had to explain that there would be no more lovin’. “Why don’t you like me”, I asked? (and that was a rarity for me) “I didn’t say that”, he explained. I told him I thought we were on two different pages. He just smirked and asked which pages I thought were different. This was all brand new for me. I’ve never had to ask so many questions or chase a man down….I wasn’t about to start now. So I ended it right then and there. “Let’s just go our separate ways” I gently told him. He laughed and called me dramatic. All I could think as I walked out the door was, “Who does he think he is?”

Can't Be the Only One

I'm certain that I am not the only person in this world who is single, saved and searching for that special someone. I am a 29 year-old single mom of a 7 year-old son who is yet hoping to someday be swept off my feet by my prince charming lol. Yes, I do realize what day and age we are in, but I still have hope and so should you :). I created this blog to share my thoughts & experiences (whether good or bad) of being a single & saved mom on the dating scene. I hope to uplift, inspire and encourage both young women and men in the process....so stay tuned!